Barack Obama: Jesus Christ Superstar.

I’ve had a lot of writer’s block this week, so I’m thinking that maybe this will break it.

“I remember when this whole thing began/No talk of God then, we called you a man/And believe me/My admiration for you hasn’t died/But every word you say today/Gets twisted ’round some other way/And they’ll hurt you if they think you’ve lied”

– Judas, ‘Heaven on their Minds’, Jesus Christ Superstar.

When it gets right down to it, Jesus Christ Superstar is my favorite rock opera. Not only are Weber’s songs ALL literally amazing, but, the plot, the treatment of the story, is quite incredible as well. It’s not so much about the Christian story of this one man’s life, as much as it is about the need that people have in times of dire straits to deify individuals who are VERY human, but who are unfortunately curse by having the ability to live a life or aspire to levels that we all wish that we could.

I live in constant fear these days that we have done this very thing to one man, the President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama.

As much as I loved the inaugural fervor, if not for its all encompassing joy and jubilation, it was, from another view, a rather frightening time. If, say, you were from another planet, and had no idea as to what was happening in our world, if you were positioned on the corner of 14th and U or 16th and Pennsylvania, or 32nd and Q, or 11th and MLK, you would’ve been absolutely assured that the second coming was here, and that he was a tall brother from Chicago. His name was carved in ice, cheered by millions, and his visage was on everything from coffee cups to baby booties *yes, not that I have a child, but if I did, I too could’ve had Barack booties for my 16 month old! Crazy!*

I know times are horrible. Every day, another company closes, every day, another man or woman loses their job, every night, I close my eyes, and every morning I wake up and look out of my windows, shocked and amazed that the Earth itself isn’t tired and depressed by this situation, and hasn’t stopped spinning. Dubya did a bad thing. We obviously and clearly had issues even when Clinton was in office. People want to paint him as great because we had a surplus, no particularly troubling foreign conflicts and Social Security when he left office, but, it’s not like we were in the middle of the Baby Boom or anything. That simpering failure of a human being from Texas came into office and shone spotlights on literally every problem we have. Our military is not as strong as it once was. Our economy was not prepared for a war. Our children are for the large part helpless, hopeless and woefully undereducated. He may not have meant to do any of this. But when I was 16, I didn’t mean to get naked and hook up with that girl in her family’s van and have her mother catch us, either. But I did. And had to face the consequences. My only consequence at 16 was losing a relationship. America’s consequences…far worse. I could enumerate them here, but, that’s not the point of the piece.

But are times so bad that we have to deify Barack? Has it gotten so bad that we’ve gone against our newfound American creed of “mistrust authority,” and be filled with rampant, unabashed cynicism, that a one term US senator from Illinois who speaks well, is Harvard educated, and is half African-American, enough? Did eight years of Dubya destroy us to the point where we really want this man to the point where he’s lauded the world over as the savoior of the economy, my job, your job, your grandmother’s job, and will end violence, oppression, racism and sexism, will end the Bowl Championship Series, and ensure that the Cubs win a World Series?

I’m scared. What happens when things don’t work? I mean, Barack for sure knows he’s in over his head, and, with the Gitmo promises, fuel emissions legislation and $825 billion stimulus deal, as bills looking to get swept in with the “era of good feelings” of his first 100 days, he’s living up to his “Christ-like” status. But he’s got another 1,450 plus days according to my calculations, and if things don’t get better before they stay at these unprecedented levels, like Christ, he’s gonna get cursed, his disciples will deny him far more than three times, he will be stoned, then crucified.

Again, I’m scared. What we have done here is ascribe superhuman traits to a very normal man. He’s an intelligent man, a sensible man, but JUST a man. I hope we haven’t gone too far. The implications and expectations we have placed upon this man of messiah and groundbreaker I believe is just too great.

Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you?
What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Who are you?
What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you’re what they say you are?
Jesus Christ
Superstar
Do you think you’re what they say you are?

As an American, I hope he proves me wrong, or that we as a people change our tune.

After seeing "the shoe"….An Unusually Angry Stream of Consciousness Burial of George W. Bush

http://www.youtube.com/v/HWt3-kPBQ4A&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1

Real talk.

The journalist throwing the shoes at George Bush is the most gangsta move of all time. Like more gangsta than Nino Brown snuffing G Money on the roof in New Jack City. Or Michael Corleone’s kiss of death to Fredo in The Godfather II. I mean, the journalist could’ve shot him, but, ultimately, what does shooting an asshole like this really mean? I mean, you’ve killed him. Bang. The loss of human life is something that I’m sure a lot of us have secretly and distatefully or humorously wished on our lame duck presidential disasterpiece, but, yeah. Like in the old spaghetti western, killing this fool would be too good. I love the shoes because it’s heartfelt. It’s one of the ultimate classic Arabic signs of disrespect for another man, which shows that he’s really serious. It’s better than waving a gun and pulling the trigger, because anybody can wave a gun, and we’ve seen it done before and know how to react. Throwing shoes at the man, that’s absolutely premeditated and terrifically unique. You sit in your house and call your friends on that one. If I got that call at 11 PM one night, and my journalist friend was all like, “I’m throwing the shoes at that motherfucker,” I’m like, “Wow. Are you serious? Really. Are you sure you want those repercussions? I mean, yeah, he deserves it, buuut, wow. Are you sure this is what you have to do?” And he’d be like “Yeah. I’m doing it,” that’s one of those points where you know you’ve made a truly great friend. Your friend is going down as a martyr for the cause. And that’s excellent.

When we look back historically on this presidency, this confederacy of dunces, I want everyone to just think that at the end of everything, you can sum it up in, “that’s the president that almost got hit by the shoe.” That’s bananas. Not, this is the New Deal guy, this is the Great Society guy, not even this is the Watergate guy, or the had sex with an intern guy, but this is the SHOE guy. Crazy. We are the absolute ass worst country in the world right now. We’re a fucking laughingstock. I mean, we’re like Sarah Michelle Gellar’s character at the end of Cruel Intentions. We’ve done a shitload of morally disgusting shit to everybody, and now somebody has finally pulled our hole card and shown the entire world what we are. We’re low, we’re pathetic, and to see Dubya laughing about it like it’s some kind of fucking joke is horrible. I mean, if I’m him, I’m running away crying. Like a four year old. It’s still his party, and he should absolutely exercise his right to cry when he wants to. And that was a perfect time.

I mean, we went into the journalist’s country and killed his president for no apparent reason. We’d already beaten him over a decade ago in less than 90 days, when we had a reason to, and now Dubya sent us over there to protect our oil, and play the look at the size of our giant American penis and watch our testosterone and evil man-strength card, and kill a brown man we could find instead of the brown man we couldn’t. That’s fucking insane. And, when we went over there ten years later, the small petulant child of a country we beat like a red headed stepchild was now big, tall, strong and rabid, and set about fighting back and doing pretty damned well for themselves. We should’ve left, but, no. Dubya’s got daddy issues, so young Americans get to be used as pawns. Fucking terrible.

A SHOE! A SHOE! OUR KINGDOM FOR A SHOE!

And here’s Barack. I tend to think he’ll be okay merely because people feel sorry for him. He’s the leader of the debate team and high school quarterback that passionately courted the prettiest girl in school to take to the prom, then, all of a sudden, when he got the date, somebody shoved a Molotov cocktail in her ass and mouth, and created a Broomhilda like wildebeast that even the pimpliest of pimply faced geels wouldn’t have sympathy for. So now, we get instead of a president that gets to flex his muscle as a great negotiator and international man of greatness, a man who shows up to prom, and every other pretty girl offers him something out of sheer pity for his situation. But, sympathy dances and sympathy sex is better than nothing at all, and that’s what he’s going to get.

George Bush is the worst man that ever lived. Seriously. With all the money we’re giving out now, we’ve become a socialist country. Socialist. I AM A SOCIALIST AND EVEN I THINK THIS SHIT IS FUCKING LUDICROUS. We have become an anomaly of a society. Maybe I’m just tilting with windmills here. Maybe I’m the only one who cares. Maybe so, maybe not. But these are frightening times. Our way of life changes day by day. New and unexpected concepts are taking shape. New and unexpected politics are taking shape. New and unexpected discussions are happening. At a whirlwind pace.

I really feel for Barack right now. He keeps on saying that things are going to get worse before they get better. The man literally is stuck in stasis. I mean, everything we’re known for no longer exists. We don’t do anything independently anymore. Our government loans money from other countries and pays off debts to companies that shipped their work to other countries. We’re not the best, we’re one of the worst. And it’s shocking, scary and amazing at the same time.

And people ask me why I party and listen to music so goddamned much? I’d rather dance to the fiddle while Rome is burning than get caught by the flames.

That shoe was the final straw. On January 20th, sadly though, we don’t even get to start at zero. We start at negative 50.

Thank you, you fucking asshole.

Big ups to Stone (www.thecouchsessions.com) for the graphic.

Streams of consciousness on socialism, capitalism, and ultimately, globalism. The answer.

I’ve been crippled with thought as of late regarding the terrific pace we’re making in this nation towards a state sponsored “free market socialism.” It’s a term I have been enamored with since my days in academia, wherein politically wet behind the ears, I would advocate constantly for a system wherein socialist tendencies toward the state ownership of commodities was they way, truth and light. I still think this is something that can come up for discussion as the answer for a number of struggling nations that have experienced capitalism, but have been ravaged by it, and desperately need a restart, but, in our particular country, and in our particular condition, this, to me reeks of, well, insanity.

In the post linked below, we see that retail giants are closing at an alarming rate, the sheer lack of money American consumers have to spend on goods and services dwindling rapidly with economic woes. Gone are the days where Best Buy and Circuit City could exist, where we could have Linens and Things and Bed, Bath and Beyond. We’ve turned the concept of capitalism onto itself and now it’s eating away at it’s flesh and bones, ripping and destroying with reckless abandon. We’re trying to save capitalism with economic bailouts. This is so absurd, but, if we’re to ultimately remain “the United States of America,” completely necessary.

There’s something completely American about the culture of choice. We lose this right because of our own ineptitude, whose to say what other core American beliefs are next to fall? I mean, we’re losing wars, we’re losing money, we have no international friends, a black man is president, I mean, really, what has happened? I feel like the good ol‘ USA is like the New York Yankees, in that we let our superstar concepts get too outmoded and now, cultures, concepts and countries that have sensed a change are making that change and leaving us in the dust, and, well, we’re paying the price.

America’s in need of a revolution. We’ve got the right guy in charge for it, but, we’re missing pretty much everything else. And, unlike the Yankees, we just can’t go out and print more money and buy the quick fixes. I do like what is being advocated by people like Newark, NJ mayor Cory Booker, who’s at the forefront of an economic stimulus program that advocates finding jobs for the hordes of unemployed and creating a new tax base upon which new programs and economic salvation is possible. For instance, 2006 figures showed there to be roughly SEVEN MILLION PEOPLE in prison. SEVEN MILLION. Now, out of that seven million, I can imagine what it would do to take the more reformed of these individuals, and employ them working in public works positions, for instance, to create A) new taxpayers, and B) necessary infrastructure benefits to the nation.

This isn’t crazy. We need to take the reigns of our own salvation. The answer’s not coming from anywhere other than you and me acting together. We’ve lost our free market capitalism. Fine. We didn’t need 75 places to buy a towel, CD, condom or case of beer. But, we do need to find one good way to stabilize the economy, and create hope. We are a country of dreamers. I advocate finding ways to use our entrepreneurial spirit to solve these issues at home, as, in going abroad we have certainly lost our grasp on ourselves. America’s the first country to sit back and smile at the rest of the world and let them enjoy what we have when we have money and power. However, with the aid of our new digital universe and ever decreasing walls of boundary between nations, cultures and even each other, we need to take advantage of the various spheres of influence at play now, and let the rest of the world help us.

I am a huge fan of globalism. I feel like it has the answers to a lot of our problems. I feel like a lot of issues regarding this concept were exacerbated by George W. Bush. The man is woefully trapped in what I call “Marlboro Man Patriotic Sludge,” as he looks out at the world as the vast, conquerable planet, where just because we’re American, we are right, and more importantly, we are the standard by which to judge. That’s done. It’s time to open up the discussions, to let more concepts in. We have the means with YouTube, the Internet, there’s such power available now, and, just as we were with everything else in the prior century, we need to harness this, develop this, and find the answers from it. It saves us, and, in some ways, could save the world.

These are the most wild, unpredictable and ultimately beneficial times in which to live. Shockingly enough, to invert the Public Enemy premise of “Fight the Power, ” “our best trained, best educated, best equipped, best prepared troops refuse to fight! Matter of fact, it’s safe to say that they would rather switch than fight!” I don’t think there’s any other way.

– KONG

On Barack Hussein Obama.

He won.

I guess the raving conspirator in me could say it was white guilt that did it. Middle class white people, wanting to appear cool rather than appear racist, as they live and work and, befriend enough black people these days, would rather have Barack as president than deal with four years of incredibly bitter black folk in their everyday lives. ‘Cause, good or bad, that was likely going to happen. Can’t have your neighbor, cubicle mate, postman, or fuck buddy thinking that they had been lied to for all these days/weeks/months/years. Hell, even if it’s not true, you would get that second look of uncertainty, and that’s sure as hell not fun.

Or, I guess you could say that it was the young people that did it. I wouldn’t so much say it was their youth and unrepentant hope for the future so much as it really isn’t hip and cool at all to have your granddad as president. The fact that Obama is so omnipresent in what we as the youth end up spending so much of our time doing is pretty entertaining. Obama had Myspace, Facebook and Twitter. So what if some college intern named Jamal made a lot of college credits for keeping that shit updated. It was still there, and it was still cool. I also dig the fact that Barack’s the first president I could likely have a realistic conversation about the legendary status of 22 Twos, D’Evils and the rest of Jay-Z’s Reasonable Doubt. Barack made a concerted effort to be different, to be young, to identify with people not so much concerned for the future, but concerned that the future would reflect something of themselves.

Or you could say it’s because he’s black. Yes, he is, and it’s a large reason he was elected. As a dear friend of mine says, you can get black people to cheer, laud and appreciate black people doing just about anything these days, positive, negative, whatever. Just as long as it’s some new shit that black people haven’t been doing before, and, given the chance that they can be radically successful (we are a race of bandwagon jumpers). If Tyler Perry can be made into a relevant and salient filmmaker on the level of Martin Scorcese, then, well, yeah. I tend to think Barack Hussein Obama can be president. It’s not a far stretch. Not by a long shot. At polling places nationwide, it seemed like it was 3 to 1 black to white. To use the Tyler Perry analogy, we had to pay $9.75 a head before popcorn to make people care about him. Shit. You’re going to tell us all we have to do is wait in line with an expectation of liberal leave from work to pull a lever or touch a screen for FREE?!?! Really? I know people that NEVER voted before who voted here. And, they’re going to vote again in 2012. Just saying. It’s the R. Kelly principle. No matter how ignorant this man is, he continues to be a star in the black ocmmunity. Frightening, but true. Barack could run a brothel out to the White House, slap Michelle in the mouth, go to war with Africa, and raise taxes, and black people likely wouldn’t care. He’s ours, and he won. Malcolm and Martin died so this could happen. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. This is some black manifest destiny shit here.

Or, he won for my most logical reason, he ran a campaign against a sack of morons. The Republican party is woefully behind the times. They supported George Bush with blind, reckless faith for like, six years, and then when the blue guys started kicking tail in the 2006 mid-term elections just by basically saying, “All of THOSE people support everything GEORGE BUSH likes,” it was like that scene in Caddyshack where they put a chocolate bar into the pool and everybody thinks it’s shit. Then, Bill Murray’s character eats it. John McCain was Bill Murray. Sarah Palin was Bill Murray. Bush cast a spooky spectre over the GOP in this election. He sat in the corner like an 80000 pound elephant, one that the Republicans couldn’t acknowledge and had to run from. They had to create divisiveness in their own party, which caused people who’d never in a million years look at Obama, to look at him and, when forced to make a choice, at least Barack seemed more honest. McCain was perpetually grasping at straws, not running his own campaign, but trying to stop the runaway train that was Obama’s campaign. The Republican party used every single tactic of fear they could. Socialism AND terrorism were invoked, concepts so hackney and outmoded that Obama’s deft sidesteps and claims against them almost seemed funny rather than serious, as it seemed neither him, nor anyone else could believe McCain was serious. And at the end, he wasn’t. He became a sad old man, a pawn in a game, reminiscent of that picture of New York Giants Quarterback Y.A. Tittle kneeling in the end zone at Pitt Stadium after being sacked by Pittsburgh Steelers defensive end John Baker in a 1964 playoff game, the last game before he retired. Google it. It’s a perfect description.

And then, there’s the Palin factor. Not to be a misogynist, but, if Sarah Palin had just shut up, sat down, and worn short skirts and low cut tops and baked us all a batch of cookies, the Republicans would’ve stood a shot in hell. That’s what they wanted. The Alaskan hockey mom with the sixteen thousand kids and neutered husband who smiled and looked pretty, and was a governor, and had experience, but ultimately was woefully unprepared for the task at hand. Obama had chosen Joe Biden, who isn’t exactly like Ronald Reagan choosing Goerge Bush who was the head of the fucking CIA, but, in comparison to the one term MILF wonder from Alaska, sure seems it. The Republican party showed their age here. Google and Youtube savaged this woman. Then, they THOUGHT they had a friend in CBS, as NBC represents the liberal left, and if they went to Fox it’d be all too logical, so CBS, the happy medium, was expected to throw Palin softballs she could handle. No. Katie Couric pretty much gave her a Cleopatra Jones style asskicking, exposed her completely, and it was there for perpetuity. And, the same media that decided to hornswaggle Bill Clinton backfired on the Republicans as they prison raped Sarah Palin, in five weeks turning her from awesome hockey mom who could, with help capably guide America, to a dirty whore with a slow kid who can’t keep her legs closed and tells her kids to do the same. Impressive. The Republicans thought they had Hillary Clinton, and it turns out they had the bastard offspring of Reese Witherspoon’s character in Legally Blonde.

Note that at no point here did I mention the issues. Barack won without them. Anybody that REALLY sat down and weighed thoe pros and cons, like me, didn’t vote for President, or, did so begrudgingly out of fear that McCain might steal it. Barack’s a flawed man. Yes, he’s black, smooth, educated and full of ideas, but, we don’t need that man right now. We just need somebody to steady the ship. Somebody who can FIX things. A president we’ve never had before. We need a doctor. Somebody who can stitch us up and get us back to health. America is a victim of a brutal gang rape right now. We’ll have fucked up social issues forever, we are beaten, bloody, will require surgery, shouldn’t have kids, and is terrifically ugly to look at. McCain would be the guy who’d have her walk around in bandages reminding the world tha one day she’d be healthy again, pulling off her bandages for shock value every few days to scare us into doing right. Obama, he’s the guy who will spend all the money in the world on bad plastic surgery hoping we forget it happened, thrusting this woman back out in the light of day three months later with little tiny red marks for scars, but just as pretty as ever. We need a team of doctors to keep an eye on us. The situation is tenuous, and simple solutions just won’t suffice.

I’m excited though for Barack. In theory this guy is a combination of Kennedy and Teddy Roosevelt, with a lot of little ideas sprinkled in from other historical precedents. In theory, this guy rules. My fear is that in practice, he’s in WAAAAY over his head. These four years, if anything, will be entertaining.

Back to bed.

– KONG

Teach…your children well…

So, some find this controversial, I find it wonderful. My political acculturing took place in 1988 when I played Michael Dukakis versus Kimathi Tull’s George Bush in a group of debates shown in the DC Public School System. These kids, they get their political awkening from reciting painstakingly reworked T.I. lyrics. I’m all for subverting the system for the sake of education. This is really quite amazing. I can’t imagine the kids esposusing John McCain were happy, but, shit. They got on CNN for this, so i suppose it really wasn’t that hard of a sell. Me, I’d be the kid refusing to take part at all. I once turned down a semester trip to Saudi Arabia in the sixth grade because of my fear of terrorism. Yeah, that one was pretty dumb. I mean, the girl that ended up going, yeah, all she took from the trip was that English speaking shows are badly dubbed and McDonald’s tastes the same pretty much everywhere. Gah! But yeah, without further ado, the children from Atlanta, GA’s Ron Clark Academy with “You Can Vote However You Like…”

The election. A final pre-vote piece of my mind.

One week from today, we’ve got quite the situation. It’s going to be election night, likely the most important election night we’ve had in quite some time. I know everybody likely reading this either a) is perfectly aware of my wacky political views, and the fact that I’m not voting, or b) has already made up their minds. But, I just wanted to throw some real talk out there to provide pause for a second before you go pull that lever next Tuesday. I really can’t stand either of these candidates, mainly because I feel that eight years of Goerge Bush and his junta have ruined our country, and left us in a position unenviable to pretty much anyone crazy enough to run for president, as we have no money, no allies, and genereally, no hope for the future. We’re pretty much completely screwed as a country, as, everything we’ve fought to establish in the last 221 years is gone. We’re not an industrial, cultural or military power anymore, and anyone who believes otherwise is an idiot. The proof is out there. I don’t have to tell you anything that’s already readily apparent. I drive a Toyota, routinely listen to music inspired by every other country in the universe, and, we haven’t won a “war” since Korea. It’s a desperate time in America, and I truly feel that our candidates at this point reflect JUST how desperate we are as a people.

The Democrats send us Barack Obama. As a black man, I fully suspect you’re expecting me to laud Barack because of his skin color and nothing more. While I think that America could benefit greatly from a black person as president, I just don’t believe it’s THIS black man. There’s something endemic to the black condition about being well acquainted with struggle, creating hope from false promises, staying steadfast in a neverending battle with equality, and having an entrepreneurial spirit that America needs right now, but, this man from Harvard with his love of socialism really isn’t the second coming of Malcolm or Martin that the black community would lead you to believe.

He’s clean cut, well pressed and clear speaking, and appears to have all the answers, and asks very few questions. He also wants us to believe in “HOPE,” a worrisome turn of phrase when you realize that we’re in the midst of a woeful economic downturn, suggesting new policies and initiatives as the answers to our innumerable issues. We’re all fans of “NEW.” Who wants an old house, an old car, an old woman, an old anything? Your “HOPE” is that something “NEW” will immediately equate with cleaner, nicer, simpler and better, which, in THEORY is wonderful.

But in practice, we have no money for anything new. To make this money, we’re basically just going to tax the ass out of the rich, which, I’m all down for, but, it’s artificial, as, everybody’s in theory making less money than before due to the price of the dollar falling sharply, so, taxing people more, while a great populist concept, really just ends up as an ill concieved cash grab that really assists nobody. He’s pulling off some sort of Robin Hood act here, which is admirable, but fraught with class warfare and terrifying social issues that are ultimately unintended but WILL occur.

Barack would’ve been AWESOME in 2000 instead of Al Gore. We had this wonderful economic surplus, and, four more years of AmeriCorps inspired thinking on socio-economic issues would’ve been welcome. HOWEVER, it’s 2008, we’re fucked, and I just get the chills imagining American free spending and Barack ultimately standing there like the Emperor in his new clothes, naked as a jaybird, embarassed and cold, promising wealth, riches and prosperity, but the American people still stumbling and struggling along, the rich slightly less rich, the poor, just a bit less poor than before, but still fucked.

Barack seriously reminds me of a pimp. Cool calm and collected, he’s selling something we all love entirely too much in theory. McCain is like the hyper religious person that wants you to go home to your wife and espouses Christian love as the most beautiful thing in the world, and, all the while here’s Obama, comfortable, welcoming, open and smiling, hoping that we all look at the “good and decent” man like he’s a moron and lunatic, and we end up taking the sex. Of course, he doesn’t mention that this sex comes with a price, one that we may be ultimately unwilling to pay, but, we can sure HOPE that it’s going to be good, and that the girl is nice and clean, but, what if she has the clap. You’re fucked. You made the choice, and, the pimp has your money, and, he’ll still smile at you, maybe even offer you a hug, but, at the end of the day, you were tricked by his demeanor and the supposed splendor of what he’s putting out there.

The Republicans send us John McCain. Basically, we get him instead of everybody else because for awhile, this dude was seen as a Democrat, so, somehow he’s more of a populist and centrist than everybody else, and, furthermore, he doesn’t identify as strongly with that complete fucking idiot Dubya as others would. McCain’s a war hero. So, while he’s different than Bush in many ways, the key issue here is that he’s not going to be in any particular great hurry to leave the Middle East. Sure, he says he wants to leave because it’s what all the cool kids are saying, but in his heart that was literally stuck in a hole in the ground for seven years, we know he wants to stay. He’s a one issue man in my mind. He’s a party man on the issues that matter to me, like the Environment and abortion, but, his main crux for running is that he was a white man who loves America. Wow. That’s all? Okay then.

He loses points with me bacause he wants to call Barack a “terrorist.” He says this because many of Barack’s friends are wacky liberal wingnuts and communists, which, well, most intellectual leaning blacks are going to have. His tactics also show the most key of McCain’s failings. He’s old. He’s 72 years old, and, to expect that “Red Scare” 1950s Joe McCarthy concepts are going to get me (and anybody else) excited to vote for him is absurd, comical and ouright stupid. There are 100 million other great attacks to levy against Barack Obama. Calling him a terrorist and saying he wants to steal your money is idiotic and, again, makes McCain seem OLD. The last two times that the GOP ran old people with out of mode ideas, they lost. John McCain is a more interesting man politically than Bob Dole or George Bush. But, unfortunately, he’s as old as they are, and the GOP wishes to shroud his campaign in his old age, experience and time worn logic to counteract a smart ideologue.

John McCain is GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip. He’s an old toy, a reliable toy, a toy that if you look at it on your shelf, you think of all the great times you had with it, the era in which you bought it, and how great the world was, and actually can’t believe there was a time that the toy represented how great and successful we were at defending the world against itself. Then, you look at it closer, you see it’s dusty, likely smells a bit musty, and in comparison to ALL of your other toys, is completely out-moded. There are smaller toys, slicker toys, cooler toys, more culturally relevant ones. Then you think of how much we’ve failed and advanced as a people since the toy came out. And you realize that the only time you pick up the toy isn’t seriously at all, but rather, it’s in a lampooning sense, a cute but funny sense, a nostalgic sense, but not in a serious sense. We know John McCain, we’ve had John McCain, we don’t need him again. Sure, he’s not George Bush. But I’m not George Bush either. What does that really mean, anyway?

Superfly v. GI Joe. Crazy.

– KONG

Dear Sarah Palin,

Hi. my name is Marcus Dowling, and I’m a 30 year old taxpaying resident of the state of Maryland. You probably don’t care who I am because I’m not voting on November 3rd, but, I am still a resident of this country you plan to attempt to assist the leader of if its John McCain. Given that he’s 72 years old, it’s quite possible you COULD in fact, one day be our President, so, I just figured I’d send you this note as a heads up.

I hate you with every fiber of my being. I graduated Providence College as a Political Science major in 2000, andif I knew someone like you was eventually going to be a nominee for Vice President in my lifetime, I would’ve considered the concept of living in Montreal a lot sooner than sitting here at this computer right now.

I’m not writing this out of spite. In fact, it’s the polar opposite. It’s out of shame. You are a one term governor of a state that is over 1000 miles removed from the contiguous United States, that, last I checked, sees less sunlight than most of the world, and has a severe alcohol problem with its indigenous people. As well, you make young women pay for their own rape tests, amd claim that insignificant Bering Strait negotiations constitute a fair and equitable knowledge of foreign policy. Furthermore, you neglected to mention to the country when you were nominated, that you had a granddaughter on the way, COURTESY OF YOUR 17 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. As well, you think that hunting moose is a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon when GOVERNING A STATE, and generally have shown me a complete and total lack of decorum as a human being in the public eye. If you were say, Angelina Jolie, which horned up, sexless and sensually dissatisfied old white Republican men seem to think you are with your fetching glasses and business suits that leave oh so much to the imagination, I’d be totally okay with you. You’d be a redonkulously hot movie star, so, you’d get a pass by case of popular culture icons being allowed to live life absurdly for our entertainment. But, you aspire to be, still, in theory, LEADER OF THE FREE FUCKING WORLD. Sorry. If Bill Clinton can be tried for impeachment for enjoying oral sex on multiple occasions, than you, you dolt that attempted to get a bridge built to nowhere and funnel millions of federal dollars to a city the size of my big toe, then,yeah. You can’t be my Vice President.

Disrespectfully,
Marcus K. Dowling

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I’m just saying that I hope I’m not the only person here that hopes that later tonight Joe Biden ties Sarah Palin in verbal knots and assaults her with her tasteful Manolos. Barack is not a great debater. He’s a great reader of speeches, a great grass roots motivator, a great enacter it would seem, but not a great guy to throw up there to prove worth in his concepts of the future of this country. I sincerely hope that Joe Biden is better. Not so much in that I want the Democrats to win, but that I want the Republicans to lose. Sarah Palin is like trying to put mascara on a pig. If it still oinks, it’s still a fucking pig. Just saying.

Our country is twelve feet under in debt. Our electable choices are being cast by type and not by political stance. We’ve moved completely away from an ideological debate and into a debate of broad concepts. While the average person certainly understands broad concepts like faith in change and believing in the future, I still don’t have any concrete answers about the price of my gas lowring, my company’s stock options rising, my Social Security still being there for me, the incredible lack of intelligence of America’s youth, patching our relations with the United Nations, and a myriad of a million other issues that I ACTUALLY give a shit about.

But, hey. There’s a pretty lady that doesn’t scare men with her intelligence and ability that is on the Republican ticket. How about we focus on that. No. No no no. How about we don’t.

– Me.

Thoughts on the 2008 Prez election…clipped from my Myspace…

Thought I’d clip this tidbit regarding the election pre recent total economic capitulation that I wrote over @ my Myspace…I feel quite strongly that it’s one of my more incite(sight)ful pieces in quite some time.

– Me.

—————-

Political discussion.

To Maria…always my favorite copy editor, and one of my favorite people I’ve ever known. You reminded me of someone I miss sometimes…

Yeah. In a former life, prior to the days that I sold my soul to the various devils of caffeine, pro wrestling, club music and general insanity, I used to be a political rebel. I was at various times an organizer, a rabble rouser, an afroed, agitated Negro, and a far, far left political columnist. My greatest fear in life was turning into Abbie Hoffman, the ex leader of the Yippies who became a suited Wall Street psycho clone, a vast cry from his days of threatening to poison the water of Chicago with LSD in ’68, one of my favorite psychedelic revolutionary moves ever. But, as time has passed, I’ve assimilated, and, for the most part care so very little about politivs, politicians, public policy and affecting positive change in the world. Not to say I didn’t try, because I did. But, eight years of a Republican regime (and I use that word on purpose) later, and I’m tired and broken by it.

I’ve seen the bastions upon which this country was built of logic, strength, intellect and freedom whored and prostituted and the rise of greed, neglect, power centralizing and irrationalism take shape. It’s incredibly hard to be an idealist, a Marxist, a left leaning Socialist who appreciates liberal democracy in this day and age, so I stopped. Quit. Tuned out, dropped out, and turned on to lethargy, general depression, aimlessness and a dedication to the preservation of a world where anything can be real and everything is possible. It broke my heart, but, it had to happen. What I thought was politics instead had become some sort of anarchist dictatorship of the right, where those like myself, driven by idealism and free thought were pariahs instead of invitees to the table of discussion.

With that being said, I urge everybody to not vote in 2008. It’s a terrible thing to say, but, I can’t really validate a vote for either nominee as a step in the right direction. I support Barack Obama. I support him for the most abjectly racist reason ever, but I do. I love Barack Obama because he represents such a wonderful step in black history, and as a black man, he recognizes and understands this, and has acquiited himself in the public eye with never before seen grace and dignity by any black person in this generation. We’ve had such terrifically bad role models as a society, and, not to say that Obama is perfect, but, he damn sure understands where we’re at as a people, and what we need to emulate. That’s appreciated.

However, from a campaign standpoint, he’s a very difficult man to get behind. America is roughly 20 years away from understanding him. We as a country are like a jilted lover, and his promises based on trust and a yearning for simple togetherness are a slick ploy to curry our favor after Dubya has been the world’s worst abusive boyfriend in every way, battering our trust in ourselves, our country, and our country’s aims, goals and ideals, to the point where this slick talking, well dressed, seemingly perfect brother with the weird name can sweep us off our feet with concepts that frankly, smack of things that I personally agree with, but in my heart of hearts know that America just can’t handle yet.

And John McCain. Years ago, I was fine with this man. He was a moderate, leaned slightly to the right, but, he at least had the courage of his convictions, and was a political maverick. That’s cool and all, but, in 2008, he has chosen to represent a party that runs rife with all of the evils of American politics. Graft, absurd wealth, a lack of connection to the American middle and lower class, a lack of desire to leave a war we should have never started, a broken yo yo string of control over the oil crisis, and so so so much more. He’s a fine candidate, but, he has to stand supported by a clearly fractured foundation.

And Sarah Palin. Chosen from central casting, Palin is a very physically attractive mother of five from a very red state who believes in shooting guns, preserving the right of unborn fetuses, not teaching the youth about sex, and, on top of that, she was a beauty queen and tried out to be a Sportscenter anchor. If you’re a white man in America, you can get behind this woman. She’s the fucking wife every white man worth his weight in Ping Zings and Dockers would bust twelve nuts over. Furthermore, she is a woman, so, clearly, women will love her, instead of that nasty bulldyke Hillary, who drove her husband to fuck everything not nailed down, with her severely cut suits, short hair, and insistence upon policy knowledge and discussion instead of waving politely, cooking a steak and potato dinner and being barefoot with her legs splayed every night before the alpha male goes to bed.

Instead, she’s a mother of five and a career politician whose own child is five months pregnant. On top of that she commissioned a bridge to fucking NOWHERE, and received $27,000,000 for a town with a population of under 10,000 people. I don’t think she was spending that on condoms. Just saying. These clear and obvious flaws further elucidate the clear argument for obvious and ridiculous pandering the likes of which hasn’t been seen since that day in January 2005 when I walked through a curtain at PWU’s old Animal House facility and stated I liked cheesesteaks, the Eagles and the Philies and for the evil Canadian to get his ass beat. As much as anybody could see that was a fucking rib, anybody with two fucking eyes can see the the Republican party, the same party that I wholeheartedly believe led a communist-esque witchunt to remove Bill Clinton from elective office and destroyed Al Gore’s entire political career leaving him as a cruel afterthought instead of the brilliant advocate for social change that he is, failed miserably.

If at all possible, I hope that both parties lose. I’d advocate a guy like Ron Paul who says ALL the smart and right things, but I fear his theroetical view to governing will rub the dolts, idiots and mental midgets that are in high abundance in this nation the wrong way, so I can’t in good faith.

I want Barack to lose because I fear for what will become of black America the second they see their idol fail, which he will, if elected, as even if he gets Congress, the midterm elections will serve as judge, jury and executioner on him, as what he wants to implement is so radical that it will turn this country on it’s head. Black people don’t need to see this black man fail. We’re so close as a people on either side. Yes, Barack is a major key to gaining respect from the boardroom to the classroom to the supermarket, but oh how I wish he was an organizer and not the president. He doesn’t have an issue as racism is internal now, but, I feel he’d be a helluva guy to keep the issue on the table.

And, I want the GOP to lose in general because I hate them. I don’t hate Republicans, I just hate the people in control of their party. These smug looking idiots on my TV screen smiling through the intense, searing pain of eight years of tomfoolery and general absurdity are all on my shortlist of people who will die when I take control. I can’t imagine supporting Dubya, and I can’t imagine supporting a party that really is trying to tell me that the old POW that’s trying to channel Reagan and the hot GRAND MILF with five fucking kids who was goveror of a state that doesn’t have sunlight for half of the year and doesn’t believe in telling kids how to fuck safely is a smart choice. No. No it’s not. You are dumb and are a black mark on humanity to think that I am too.

Done.

Like Montgomery Brewster once advocated, vote “None of the above.”