*HOLIDAY MUSIC WEEK* RePlay: The Christmas Experiment

So, in the DC area, WASH (97.1) becomes the all-Christmas station at this time of year. In recent years, it’s been almost a race to see how soon they’ll make the format switch. It used to occur on Black Friday, but now it happens about a week before that. Many people hate this, and groan “Let’s take care of Thanksgiving first”, but I LOVE it. I love Christmas music. I love the season and everything about it.

Now, I’ve already discussed how there aren’t any modern Christmas classics being released, so I thought I would try a little experiment. I decided to just let WASH play, and then write up a little blurb about the feelings I got from the songs played during that stretch of music. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

Baby, It’s Cold Outside (Any): Winter time Date Rape at its finest

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (Jackson 5): Bitch better not let Joe catch her!

Last Christmas (Wham): A wonderful ’80s classic. I keep this in my rotation year round. I’m actually surprised Diddy never got around to sampling this beat.

http://www.youtube.com/v/E8gmARGvPlI?fs=1&hl=en_US

Do They Know It’s Christmas? (Band Aid): Those poor savages. I’ll bet they don’t have calendars.

All I Want For Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey): As far as I’m concerned, Love Actually Girl beat Mariah for the championship on this song. No, not really, but I love the Hell out of that movie.

White Christmas (Bing Crosby): If you listen closely, you’ll realize this used to be a Klan propaganda song. As Uncle Ruckus would say, “Look how perfect and white these nice folks is, smellin’ like lemon furniture polish!”

http://www.youtube.com/v/7A03tpV-70k?fs=1&hl=en_US

The Christmas Shoes (NewSong): This song takes on a whole new meaning when you realize the kid is just trying to con the store out of a fresh pair of Jordans.

Christmas Through Your Eyes (Gloria Estefan): You realize this is sung from the point of view of a Miami Sound Machine member who was blinded in one of Gloria’s bus accidents, right?

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Any): Silly folks! You can’t make a yuletide gay…unless you send it to prison. Otherwise, it has to be born that way.

Feliz Navidad (Jose Feliciano): The definitive Latin stamp on Christmas. You know Spanish people were as siced about this as black people were when we created a new version of “Happy Birthday”. Still waiting on a remix with Pitbull, though.

OK, enough rambling from me. Until next time, remember to keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars.

*HOLIDAY MUSIC WEEK* RePlay: Oi to the World!

So, on Tuesday we covered La Bouche, and the voice behind the hits, Melanie Thornton. Well, around that same time period, I was also really into No Doubt. I guess it all came down to local radio: DC had just gotten a pop station with the arrival of Z104, but there were only so many times that Billy Bush could play that Ultimate Dance Party ’96 CD without you wanting to go on a killing spree. So, I’d switch over to the late, great WHFS (the good one, where the Spanish station is now) and get my “alternative” fix. Sure, No Doubt eventually made their way to the Z104s of the world, but for this moment in time, “Just A Girl” and the like were still confined to specific genre stations.

http://www.youtube.com/v/ZFLExwIQKto?fs=1&hl=en_US

Now, I didn’t actually discover this song until many years after it came out. In fact, it was during my stint as a retail slave at H&M that I first heard it, as it was part of our “hip” holiday playlist. That playlist was a welcome change, as most of H&M’s music choices sounded like the soundtrack to a date rape at someone’s loft. Anyway, being all European and whatnot, the company’s Christmas music skewed towards the secular, especially when it came to groups with the words “Good” or “Charlotte” in their name. I remember not even really thinking it was a holiday song at first, as it was so…different. You know what first caught my ear? The mention of “nunchucks”! If you hear any reference to nunchucks, and your ears do not perk up, then you cannot call yourself a man. And then I was like, “Oh, shit! Haji just pulled a sword?!” Once you go back and listen to the thing from the beginning, then you realize the ska “Joy To The World” melody, and well as the “If God came down on Christmas day” reference.

I think I also like this song for the same reason that Tony Kanal probably liked it: it wasn’t about HIM. By this point, I’m surprised that Tony never stormed off stage with a “God, bitch! Fucking get over yourself!” Anyway, this was originally a song by The Vandals, but they were friendly with No Doubt, which paved this way for this cover. It’s not the kind of song that’s gonna make you reach for a cup of cocoa and turn on The Grinch, but it does prove that there’s no one way to make a holiday song.

*HOLIDAY MUSIC WEEK* Crate Dig: Willa Ford – Santa Baby (Gimme Gimme Gimme)

http://www.youtube.com/v/VefqHHsXL7k?fs=1&hl=en_US

When I think of Christmas in 2010, nothing sums it up better than “Santa Baby” by Willa Ford. In 2001, Willa was easily the worst of the teen pop starlets. Her track “I Wanna Be Bad” was well marketed, but in Ford lacking the talent to compare to the likes of Britney and Christina, she quickly faded away. She didn’t fade before she released a Christmas single on MTV TRL’s Christmas album in 2001 though, easily one of the most regrettable tunes of the holiday genre.

“Santa Baby” was originally recorded by Eartha Kitt. If you know anything about me, I find Eartha Kitt to be one of the ten most attractive women to ever roam the Earth. Her voice was of a very particular importance to me in my sensual awakening to women, so, any other woman covering one of her signature songs needs to be able to blow it away completely. Willa Ford, who at the time was a twenty-something pop wannabe, wasn’t exactly at the top of my list. The track is pure bubblegum of that era, JC Penney changing room fare. In modernizing the lyrics to Ford’s desire for a diamond ring, Mercedes Benz, Gucci gear and Tiffany jewels, it pretty much defecates on the song’s memory.

In many ways, Christmas just isn’t what it used to be. Commercialization has ruined what was once a holiday driven by religious overtones and common decency. Turning a sensual come on to Santa Claus into a sensual come on for a new car? Shameful, but a sign of the times.

*HOLIDAY MUSIC WEEK* Crate Dig: Paul McCartney – "Wonderful Christmastime"

http://www.youtube.com/v/V9BZDpni56Y?fs=1&hl=en_US

Song: Paul McCartney – “Wonderful Christmastime”
Year released: 1979
Year “discovered” by me: 2002
Reason discovered: Paul McCartney retrofits a synth melody with Beatles style vocals about Christmas.

There’s a school of Beatles fanatics that feel of the Fab Four, the laziest and least inspired of the bunch as a solo artist was Paul McCartney. His solo act, Wings, to many is the equivalent of Jefferson Airplane becoming Jefferson Starship. It’s people like that who tend to hate power pop music, and wish that music that is emotive, moody, melodically interesting and somewhat inacessible could be commercially successful. The Lennon/McCartney partnership’s divergences are obvious here, as Wings is about as in your face and poppy as any of the arena rock acts of the era, opting for simple rollicking fun over lamentations over a misspent and seemingly social advancement barren 1960s.

Somewhere after the gorgeous opulence of James Bond theme “Live and Let Die” for me is “Wonderful Christmastime.” McCartney’s ode to the holidays is a gratuitous ode to the pop sensibilities of the synthesizer, and hearkens back to the Beatles era of McCartney’s lead on songs like “Yesterday.” It’s plaintive and frankly stupid, but in the same manner that any synth driven pop tune without significant spiritual meaning tends to be. But in celebrating Christmas and being so filled with unrepentant glee, it’s a winner.

To me, Christmas has gone from being the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ to now being as silly and banal of a holiday as Valentine’s Day. This song fits that perfectly.

Enjoy!

*HOLIDAY MUSIC WEEK* CRATE DIG: TLC – Sleigh RIde

http://www.youtube.com/v/-hlT1rTxa_0?fs=1&hl=en_US

Song: TLC – “Sleigh Ride”
Year released: 1992
Year “discovered” by me: 1992
Reason discovered: This song kindled my love of Christmas.

I didn’t become a fan of Christmas until Chiristmas 1991. To be honest, until that point I pretty much dreaded the holiday. I grew up as a acetic only child in a really small apartment, so, while I appreciated the full train sets, electric football fields, Tyco race tracks and other really cool gifts, I didn’t have space in my room to play with them, and usually playing with them required well, making friends, something I hated to do. Well, after years of what I felt like were major failures that I had to grin and bear and appreciate as a child, my mother finally got it right. All I wanted was the new release of Tecmo Super Bowl for the 8-bit Nintendo system. The game had the ability to save without remembering a code, and instead of being 7 on 7 football was a full 11 on 11 game, with stats, and a Pro Bowl! My mother refused to buy the Sega Genesis system, and I was frankly too enthralled by classic soul, non-fiction books and pro wrestling (how little things have changed in 20 years, lol) to get a job to buy it myself, so, this was the closest I was going to get to the Madden experience my freinds would prattle on and on about. I only asked for that, and, well, when it was in my clutches, I played the game for 18 straight hours, from midnight to 6 PM. I was wired on Coca-Cola and Kit Kats, and I thought Christmas was the best holiday ever.

1992 rolled around, and something new perpetuated my love of the holiday. TLC’s “Sleigh Ride.” At this point of my life, LaFace Records and a signficant chunk of Atlanta based music was well on the way to being the soundtrack to a lot of my favorite moments of intense self reflection and intense joy. TLC was my favorite band of the moment. I had concurrent crushes on Left Eye, T-Boz and Chili, and the LA and Babyface produced single was the perfect blend of traditional Christmas cheer with a dash of New Jack Swing that I loved. I asked for the cassingle of the song or the LaFace Family Christmas album as my only gifts that year. Instead, I was given a pair of Polo boots that I still own, two rugby shirts that I’d probably fit right now, and would love to have to be the epitome of New York urban cool, a pair of corduroy slacks, and because my mother realized that as the Fresh Prince’s mom did, that “I went to school to learn not for a fashion show,” three corduroy button up shirts.

I was told by my mother to “record that damn song off the radio,” so, I did. I listened to it so many times that it warped the tape in that place only. I can still recite Left Eye’s rhyme that invoked one of my favorite Simpsons episodes ever, and it may in fact be this track that convinced me of T-Boz as a sultry and incredible lead singer. Of course, let’s remember that the LaFace Family Christmas album is the official home of Outkast’s debut single “Player’s Ball,” so let’s be glad that I didn’t get the album as Antwan Patton describing how he “dropped these bows like Dusty Rhodes” over a soulful melody may have incapacitated the place of “Sleigh Ride” in my memory.

No lie, “Sleigh Ride” may be my favorite Christmas song of all time. Sure, it may sound completely terrible to say such a thing with so many traditional and contemporary legends around, but man. This is just am all around quality composition, AND, for at least a few m,ore years, kept my love of the Christmas holiday alive.

Enjoy!

*HOLIDAY MUSIC WEEK* RePlay: Santa Packs and the Wonderful Dream

So, the holidays tend to be a sentimental time, with memories triggered by the sights and sounds of the season. Now, I can be a sensitive guy, but I don’t really cry at many movies or TV shows. That’s why it was surprising to me when I found a lump in my throat from a particular commercial. In recent years, you may have seen this Coke commercial announcing that the “Holidays Are Coming!”, but it originally touted the arrival of Coca-Cola’s holiday Santa Packs:

http://www.youtube.com/v/MqAsWIg278E?fs=1&hl=en_US

I think the aspect that really appeals to me is that it really heralds the approach of the Christmas season, and makes it feel more epic that it already does. My birthday is actually December 23rd, so I always made a big deal counting down to that day and Christmas. To watch the commercial today, it almost seems as if the Coke trucks are the road crew for a big concert or circus coming to town. Sure, Coke got a lot of mileage out of the polar bears, but this was the commercial that I always anticipated. So, you can imagine how surprised I was when I discovered that Melanie Thornton had recorded a full length version of the song in Europe.

No, I know you think you don’t know who Melanie Thronton, but trust me – you do. If you’ve ever hear the chick asking you to be her lover, or droning on about her sweet dreams of rhythm and dancing, then you’re already familiar. For most of the ’90s, Melanie Thornton was the singer for Eurodance act La Bouche. In 2001, she released her first solo album, which included the song “Wonderful Dream”:

http://www.youtube.com/v/zAQ3ZyIfJoA?fs=1&hl=en_US

While the studio version of the song is a bit more clear, I chose the version above for a particular reason. You see, only a few hours after that very performance, Melanie was killed in a plane crash near Zurich, Switzerland. Tragically, she never lived to release another single from her album, which was ironically titled Ready To Fly.

I was a fool for La Bouche, as I had all the studio AND remix albums. On top of that, I was, and still am, a fool for Christmas. Nowadays, when I hear that song, I still get a little choked up, but for other reasons. With Melanie’s passing, the Eurodance world lost an amazing voice, but she chose a magical song on which to go out. So, the “Holidays Are Coming” song still makes me long for Christmas, but I’ll always hear a little bit of Melanie in there.